The Important Stuff
Shouldn’t your company be called “the perfect jeans” ?
No, it shouldn’t! “Jeans” and “pants” in the plural form are an anachronism. In the 1200s, each leg of one’s breeches were separate garments. The two legs were then belted together at the waist. We can assure you that our JEAN comes in one piece. If you happen to be 800+ years old, we will consider making you a custom “pair of jeansssssss”.
Who are the chicks in the photos and videos?
Total strangers - they volunteered to be in our photoshoot after seeing our male models walking in Central Park. Despite Khaki Karl, we got their numbies!
How does the perfect jean fit?
Our slim is a bit slimmer at the ankle than your average slim jean. We think Mott and Bow is a little wide at the ankles.
Dudes like to show some shoe nowadays. Sits low on the waist, slightly fitted through the hip. F#!king perfect.
Our skinny is for skinny legged dudes who like em tight. If you think you’ve got skinny legs and like showing them off you’ll enjoy our skinny.
You know who you are, you confident motherf#!cker.
Our Athletic Fit is designed for those Tree Trunk Thighs and Colossal Calves. If you're thiccc (or just vibe looser cuts), and are looking for combined comfort and style, these are for you. #bigsexy"
Checkout our fit and size guide here
How do I take care of my perfect jean?
For Perfect Men
Ideally, wash inside out in cold water and hang to air-dry.
For Imperfect Men
Throw them suckers in the laundry like the rest of your clothes (best to dry on LOW heat). Or don’t wash them at all (like the rest of your fucking clothes). Our fabric is durable and will do just fine. (NOTE: Bandit/Black should always be washed inside out)
Will my jean stretch or shrink?
Like all premium denim, our jean will increase about ½ a size through wearing and then return to original form when washed. Try to wash COLD and dry on LOW heat.
SHIPPING, RETURNS & EXCHANGES
How do I exchange or return my jean?
Returns and exchanges within 30 days of shipment are free!
To setup a return or exchange goto our Perfect Return/Exchange Portal at returns.theperfectjean.nyc The portal gently guides you (think soothing thoughts) through the return/exchange process (it's real easy). You'll choose whether you're returning or swapping for a new size, wash, or cut. We'll provide a prepaid shipping label too (so good - jeanius!).
Exchanges typically ship shortly after the product is received/reviewed at our warehouse.
Refunds are initiated after a quick inspection at the warehouse. Funds typically arrive back within 5 biz days (though occasionally longer - we've seen 14 days+ on rare occasions).
Got a question about returns/exchanges or just need a hand? Email email@example.com with your order id. We got you.
Read more at our returns, refund & exchanges policy (the legalese).
How long will it take to receive my order?
Orders typically arrive within 3-7 business days with free shipping.
Express shipping typically takes 2-3 business days (depending on when the order is placed).
How long will it take for my refund to be processed?
It generally takes 3-5 business days from the time we receive the return at our warehouse. Your bank may process it a bit faster or slower.
Please email our jeanius desk, firstname.lastname@example.org if you’re refund has not been processed within 2 weeks of return shipment.
Where's my package?
Your currently crushed nuts are between your legs. Your shipment tracking info (with uncrushed nuts) can be find in your shipping email.
Please contact us directly if you did not receive the tracking info.
Please contact the carrier directly for a change of address or an immediate status update:
USPS Tracking: 1-800-222-1811
Fedex Tracking: 1-800-463-3339
ADDITIONAL CONTACT INFORMATION
All orders ship within 1-2 business days (often same day - we're fast).
What if I need to change or cancel my order?
Email our jeaniuses at email@example.com with the subject line “I Fucked Up, Please Help!” and we will get back to shortly. Or just use a regular subject line and email firstname.lastname@example.org :)
What countries do you ship to?
Currently, only the good ol’ US of A (48 continental states, Alaska, Hawaii and domestic APO addresses).
But good news! By 2022 we're be setup to ship to:
We're psyched to welcome our new friends abroad to uncrushed nut living :)